Follow me
One day in High School Ministry small group, this question came up: How would your life change if you truly lived like Jesus?
Jesus served. He dedicated his life serving strangers, the sick, the sinners, the outcasts. Who am I serving? The people I love mainly, and specifically the people I gave birth to. So to call myself a follower of his footsteps, I would be really in denial of my reality. I am no hero for being a mother or dedicating my life to my children. I am mainly taking care of a gift God has given me. But, does he want me to do more? If Jesus had 2 teen daughters, and a toddler, would he have left them to go serve the needy, the outcast, the sick, and the sinner? I don't know. Though, he did say “If you come to me but will not leave your family, you cannot be my follower. You must love me more than your father, mother, wife, children, brothers, and sisters—even more than your own life!" (Luke 14:26). But, did he mean literally leaving my family to follow him? (I can't do that) Or metaphorically to choose him and love him over my family? (hard, but doable). Is he literally expecting me to leave my children to go serve others? But who will then take care of these children? My husband? Well by that logic, Jesus is also expecting him to leave his family and follow him. So, I'm pretty sure then that is not what he wants us to do. In my - humble, logical, not theological- opinion, he wants us to choose our family and raise our own children and care for them, but to put him in the center of this family, to love him more and teach them to love him more as well. When you love Jesus above anyone and anything, you are able to give more, serve more, and even rest better in knowing that he loves you and has got your back in whatever you're going through.
I have been blessed with the calling of being a youth leader. Many times serving youth and other families has come at the expense of my own family. Over the years, I have had phone and text conversations from youth in distress that would take time from my kids at home. Some nights I'm on the phone with a student and I miss saying goodnight to my own kids. Sometimes, I can't join my family for dinner because I'm on the phone or in a zoom call for training youth or even at church for youth group. This is time away from the family God has given me to be with and for my other chosen family, that I believe God also blessed me with. The struggle is real, because I feel selfish sometimes for choosing ministry over my kids. Retreats and camps are big ones on the guilty train. I really want to be there on those to build deeper connections and make a bigger difference, but this is time away from my kids and their activities and their meals and their struggles and their life! Was I called to be there for them every day and every minute? Was I called to branch out when they are in good hands? Was I called to focus on them only until they grow older and then I can focus on ministry? Was I called to juggle all these responsibilities at the same time? I don't know. But what I know is that I love my children deeply and love the youth, whom I also call my children, deeply. Their struggles are mine and their weary hearts weigh me down too. I can't let go of either responsibility. Being a youth leader makes me a better mom and being a mom makes me a more empathetic, patient and loving youth leader.
In the end, the question of how to truly live like Jesus while balancing family and ministry is a complex one without a simple answer. As parents and followers of Christ, we are called to love and serve others, including our own children and families. It's a delicate dance, one that requires constant prayer, wisdom, and a willingness to adjust our priorities as seasons of life change. But if we approach it with open hearts and a deep desire to honor God in all areas of our lives, we can find a way to be faithful parents and committed servants of Christ in the community.
Peace
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